Thursday, April 12, 2012

The starting of my unhappiness

      Well i've had a rough life. i've never met my father, and my parents(mother and stepfather) decided not to tell me the thruth from the start. those decisions made by my parents started my unhappiness. my search for happiness started since i found out i was not my stepfathers daughter which was when i was 9 years old. people don't realize that their decisions affect their kids forever sometimes.
       My life has been a bunch of drama ever since i was conceived. in the first place my mom and real dad got married when they were 16, by church and everything . but it wasn't a good marriage for my mom because she went to live to his parents house where they made her life misarable. my real dad was violent and controlling says my mom. she told me the reason she left my real dad only a couple of months after her marriage was because he beat her real bad and banged her head against a concrete wall. she got away that day with her life. she ran to her house all bloody and stayed there. One day she found out that he was already with his parent's house maid. she felt heartbroken, disapointed i guess her whole world was crashing down.  she felt so bad that she ended up in the hospital and guess why she felt so bad! because she was pregnant of me and almost had a miscarriage because of all the drama in her life. i guess that's not a good way to find out you are pregnant by the man you loved so much and now you hate and probably still love at the same time. I probably felt all my moms unhappiness in her tummy.
      well, my real dad was such a macho man that he ended up not wanting me because my mom was out of his house. my mom went through her pregnancy with all this drama surrounding her, I'm surprised i was born!